Friday, November 17, 2006 

TGIF - Window To The Past

First off I like to say if you came for a laugh as usual sorry. See I’ve had these photos for the longest time, but I never had a reason to share them. The photos I’ve posted are colour shots from America during the Second World War. This is back in the day when our grandparents and great grandparents were in their prime. I listened to the stories. I’ve looked at the black and white photos, but I never could make that connection in my mind of what it would be like today. Me personally I don’t think we dream or think in colour. With these colour photos from the past, it sort of helps me (how can I say it?) get the feel of what it must have been like. Our nation was in the middle of probably the biggest struggle mankind has ever known. It was a time of total war. Meaning every man and woman worked to further our cause. Knowing that our continued existence could only be achieved through victory. It must have been a great and moving time to live through. Today we have the War on Terror. I find myself some what desensitized with all the information we get from CNN, MSNBC, FOXNEWS, and the internet. I feel like we live in a plastic age. An age were morals, principals, convictions, values, and traditions have been thrown into the wind. I find it truly sad that now in today’s world that it’s non PC to say Merry Christmas. That telling kids about a jolly fat guy dressed in red, that gives away gifts for free is somehow wrong. WTF! Me personally, I think we live in some pretty sad times. I could probably go on and on, but I won’t. So here’s my window into the past. I hope you like it. Have a great weekend everyone.

Thursday, November 16, 2006 

Good Guys and Bad Guys

George Carlin has got to be one of the best stand up comedians of my generation. Sadly just like me he’s getting older, but he hasn’t lost his edge. In my travels I’ve found that a lot of people that like George. Think the same way he does. Way back in the day when HBO had only one channel and it started at 7pm and finished up at around 3 or 4 am. I was just a little tyke. I remember turning on that big clunky receiver, and catching George Carlin for the first time. He was this middle aged guy who said a lot of jokes that were way over my head. Now the fucking profanity is what kept me interested. Later when I started growing hair in funny places, his humour started to make some sense. Now that I’m a middle aged guy, and he’s getting to be a real old guy, I can finally enjoy his humour in all its glory. Here are some of my favourites.

George Carlin - necrophilia

George Carlin on Religion

George Carlin on People that should die

George Carlin on People that should die pt2

Now for a real bad guy. OJ the man that killed and got away with it. I remember watching the most of the trial. You can write a whole book on this stuff, but I won’t. So I’ll sum it up in terms I think are pretty user friendly. When you have cash you get the good lawyers. When you’re poor you get to “ride the lightning”. Things that stick in my mind. A leather glove soaked with blood, and dried out. It wouldn’t fit DUH. Admitted as evidence. The same glove new that did fit not admitted. His lawyers were picking shit out of a gnat’s ass. Mark Ferman one the cops on the crime scene was ripped to pieces. Why, because he said the N word back in 1972!?!?!? WTF Well now OJ is putting out the story of if he hypothetically would have done it. DUDE! If someone was putting the shoes to my wife, living in my house, and driving my one hundred thousand dollar sports car around town. Well I would just have to do something about that, and it wouldn’t be in the form of a Hallmark card. As George Carlin say’s “Humans are the most interesting critters on the planet”.

Tuesday, November 14, 2006 

A Quickie Today

I got blogs to visit and a ton of stuff to do. What little time we have my precious, we works our fingers to the bone we do my precious. So here's a pretty cool quiz from LG. I just love getting my freak on.

Find out if you are a freak in bed at LiquidGeneration!

Monday, November 13, 2006 

Only in the Movies

1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.

2. When paying for a taxi, don't look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.

3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it's aired.

4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.

5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it's the door to a burning building with a child inside.

6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.

7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.

8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.

9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.

10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.

11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).

12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).

13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.

14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard…

15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).

16. Cars never need fuel (unless they're involved in a pursuit).

17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.

18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.

19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.

20. All single women have a cat.

21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.

22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.

23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick's Day parade - at any time of the year.

24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.

25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.

26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don't mind at all what the girl does for a living.

27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.

28. It is not necessary to say "Hello" or "Goodbye" when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying "Hello? Hello?" repeatedly.

29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone's Law).

30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.

31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.

32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.

33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.

34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.

35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.

36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.

37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.

38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.

39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren't liked and would never get invited to parties).

40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).

Sunday, November 12, 2006 

My Chemical Romance

My Chemical Romance (also known as My Chem or MCR) is an American band from New Jersey. Formed in 2001, the band consists of Gerard Way (lead vocals), Mikey Way (bass), Bob Bryar (drums), Frank Iero (rhythm guitar), and Ray Toro (lead guitar). The band members hail from Belleville and Kearny, New Jersey, except drummer Bob Bryar, who is from Chicago, Illinois. Bassist Mikey Way coined the band's name from a book entitled Ecstasy: Three Tales of Chemical Romance, by Irvine Welsh.

Friday, November 10, 2006 

TGIF - Eye Candy

For me personally it's been a long week. Having to pick up a load of work for Mrs. Nerd. The long awaited election which I followed pretty intensely for the last 8 weeks. Plus having to do the quarterly cleaning of my computer/hobby room, or as Mrs. Nerd refers to it "the pig sty". I hope the weekend will be laid back. I'll be hooking up with a buddy of mine that I haven't partied with in a long time. Kick back have some brews and enjoy the weekend. If I'm lucky, hook up with my sis on Sunday for a cam chat. We haven't had time for it, at the same time if you know what I mean. I hope everone has a great weekend. I know I'll try to.

Thursday, November 09, 2006 

Fuck You

Perhaps one of the most interesting and colourful words in the English language today is the word "fuck." It is the one magical word which, just by its sound, can describe pain, pleasure, love and hate. In language, "fuck" falls into many grammatical categories.

It can be used as a verb, both transitive (John fucked Mary) and intransitive (Mary was fucked by John). It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary really doesn't give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I'm late for my date with Mary). It can even be used as a conjunction (Mary is easy, fuck she's also stupid).

As you can see, there are very few words with the overall versatility of the word "fuck". Aside from its sexual connotations, this incredible word can be used to describe many situations:

1. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
2. Fraud "I got fucked by the car dealer."
3. Resignation "Oh, fuck it!"
4. Trouble "I guess I'm fucked now."
5. Aggression "FUCK YOU!"
6. Disgust "Fuck me."
7. Confusion "What the fuck.......?"
8. Difficulty "I don't understand this fucking business!"
9. Despair "Fucked again..."
10. Pleasure "I fucking couldn't be happier."
11. Displeasure "What the fuck is going on here?"
12. Lost "Where the fuck are we."
14. Retaliation "Up your fucking ass!"
15. Denial "I didn't fucking do it."
16. Perplexity "I know fuck all about it."
17. Apathy "Who really gives a fuck, anyhow?"
18. Greetings "How the fuck are ya?"
19. Suspicion "Who the fuck are you?"
20. Panic "Let's get the fuck out of here."
21. Directions "Fuck off."
22. Disbelief "How the fuck did you do that?"

It can be used in an anatomical description- "He's a fucking asshole."
It can be used to tell time- "It's five fucking thirty."
It can be used in business- "How did I wind up with this fucking job?"
It can be maternal- "Motherfucker."
It can be political- "Fuck D an Quayle!"

It has also been used by many notable people throughout history:
"What the fuck was that?" Mayor of Hiroshima
" Where did all these fucking Indians come from?" General Custer
"Where the fuck is all this water coming from?" Captain of the Titanic
"That’s not a real fucking gun." John Lennon
"Who's goanna fucking find out?" Richard Nixon
"Heads are going to fucking roll." Anne Boleyn
"Let the fucking woman drive." Commander of Space Shuttle "Challenger"
"What fucking map?" Mark Thatcher
"Any fucking idiot could understand that." Albert Einstein
"It does so fucking look like her!" Picasso
"How the fuck did you work that out?" Pythagoras
"You want what on the fucking ceiling?" Michelangelo
"Fuck a duck." Walt Disney
"Why?- Because its fucking there!" Edmund Hilary
"I don't suppose its goanna fucking rain?" Joan of Arc
"Scattered fucking showers my ass." Noah